Best jokes about ice cream

A penguin takes his car to the shop to have it fixed.

A penguin takes his car to the shop to have it fixed. While he's waiting, he goes into a cool ice cream shop and eats ice cream. Having flippers instead hands, he gets the ice cream all over himself. He's goes back to the auto shop and asks the mechanic what was wrong with his car.
"Well," says the mechanic, "it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin replies, "It's just ice cream, I swear!!"

What's a knife's favorite dessert? Slice cream.

What's a knife's favorite dessert? Slice cream.

A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see ...

A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see
a small boy eating an ice cream.

The priest says, "How'd you like to fuck that?"

To which the lawyer replied, "Out of what?"

One day an old lady and an old man were sitting on their...

One day an old lady and an old man were sitting on their porch when the old lady says "Hey pa, why don't you run down to the restaurant and get us some ice cream." Pa said, "Ok I will go right now." Ma told him that she had better write it down for him, because he always forgets. He said no he would be fine, so off he went to the restaurant. When he got back he handed her a hamburger and she said "Dang it pa, I knew you would forget, I told you to get mustard on mine!"

New drink on the market.

New drink on the market. It's called the Ibrox Smoothie - take 50,000 bitter oranges, a bunch of sour grapes, put in a blender and liquidate.

Can be served with jelly and ice cream.

A teacher asks her class, If there are 5 birds sitting on...

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking..."
Then little Ralphy says...
"I have a question for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench
having ice cream...One is delicately licking the sides of the triple
scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third
is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Ralphy replied, "The correct answer is the one with
the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."

Where does Ice Cream go to school? Answer: Sundae School.

Where does Ice Cream go to school?
Answer: Sundae School.

I was taking my weekly trip to the ice cream store.

I was taking my weekly trip to the ice cream store. When I arrived cops surrounded the store & they had the store entrance sealed up. I asked a cop who was standing near by what happened, he replied "we were called by a member of the public who entered the store to find the owner lying face down on the floor and he was covered from head to toe in syrup, nut sprinkles and chocolate sprinkles." I asked what they thought happened and the cop replied, "He topped himself."

I want to suck you ...

I want to suck you ... lick you ... wanna move my tongue all over you ... wanna feel you in my mouth ... yep, that's how you ... eat an ice cream!