Best jokes about fat girl

I went to the pub last night and there was this fat girl...

I went to the pub last night and there was this fat girl dancing on a table. I walked past and said "Fucking amazing legs!"

The girl giggled and said with a smile "Do you really think so?"

I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now!"

A fat girl walked past my house the other day.

A fat girl walked past my house the other day.
She was wearing a t-shirt that said " I LOVE HIP HOP"

Somehow, I think a "C" and an "S" may have fallen off this t-shirt

Walking down the street the other day I saw a young kid,...

Walking down the street the other day I saw a young kid, must of been around 13 years old. He was wearing a rather sexist t-shirt stating "I love Pussy as much as fat girls love cake."

Now, I personally find this sort of stereotype offensive and in their defense, at least if you put cake in-front of a fat girl she knows what to do with it. (via Ed Byrne)

Noticing a fat couple kissing, my girlfriend said, have...

Noticing a fat couple kissing, my girlfriend said, have you ever been out with a fat girl before?
"No you're the first" probably wasn't the best response.

I was talking to this fat girl last night: Are you...

I was talking to this fat girl last night:

"Are you going to ask me out then?" she asked.

"Sure, why not" I said, "fancy going out for a little dinner in the week?"

"Don't waste my time dickhead" she said, "what the fuck am I going to do with a little dinner?"

I saw this fat girl struggling to get a couple of large,...

I saw this fat girl struggling to get a couple of large, and obviously heavy, boxes down some steps and into her car.
"You look like you need a big strong man to help you with those" I said to her.
"Oooh thank you" she said, fluttering her eyelashes.
"Well, maybe if you lost some weight, you'd get one, love" I replied, walking off.

I recently got set up on a blind date with a fat girl.

I recently got set up on a blind date with a fat girl.

As we were eating our meal she said to me, "I bet you can't guess what my favourite kind of food is?"

"Of course I can," I replied. "It's a piece of cake."

I was in a busy pub last night, then I decided to approach...

I was in a busy pub last night, then I decided to approach this lonely fat girl sitting at a table.

I said, "Hello, are you sitting here by yourself?"

Smiling, she said, "Why yes, I am."

"Great," I said. "So I can take this other chair over there then?"

Definition of irony? A fat girl that doesn't swallow.

Definition of irony?

A fat girl that doesn't swallow.

Fat girls are like curry.

Fat girls are like curry.

Strangely attractive when you're pissed then dumped first thing the next morning.

This fat girl came up to me in the pub last night and...

This fat girl came up to me in the pub last night and said: "Hi, I'm Anita."

"I can fucking tell." I replied.

I saw some fat girl lying on a beach trying to put suntan...

I saw some fat girl lying on a beach trying to put suntan lotion on her back.

"Do you want me to rub it in for you?" I asked.

"That would be very helpful of you," she replied.

"You're never going to reach your back with those short flabby arms," I shouted walking away.

I was asking a fat girl how to make a Fresh crisp salad.

I was asking a fat girl how to make a "Fresh crisp salad".

She said "First, take two packets of crisps...."