Best jokes about audi

How would You greet a German car sales man?. Audi

How would You greet a German car sales man?.
Audi

New Batman Movie Spoiler Alert: The Audience Dies.

New Batman Movie Spoiler Alert:

The Audience Dies.

A Saudi Prince went to Germany to study.

A Saudi Prince went to Germany to study.
A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying:"Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."
Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying:"Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too”!

In a circus stunt, a lady and a lion were kissing each...

In a circus stunt, a lady and a lion were kissing each other inside a cage.
Ring master proudly challenged the audience "Can anyone do it?"
One person from the audience slowly answered "I can, but first take the stupid Lion out"

A tribal farmer watching a Tarzan movie rushed out of the...

A tribal farmer watching a Tarzan movie rushed out of the hall the moment a tiger appeared on screen, advancing menacingly towards the audience.
The gatekeeper trying to stop him argued that it's only a movie, to which the tribal replied: “I know it’s a movie, you also know it is, but does the tiger know"?

In a darken theater where the suspenseful mystery story...

In a darken theater where the suspenseful mystery story was being staged, a member of the audience suddenly stood up and cried, “Where is the murdered?”
A threatening voice behind her replied, “Right in back of you, if you don’t sit down!”

I auditioned for Britains Got Talent but I got booted off the show.

I auditioned for Britains Got Talent but I got booted off the show.

I guess the judges don't appreciate the willy-copter.

A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was...

A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a
lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, the lecturer asks, "How many people here
believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any
of you think you have seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone
here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of
you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says, "Son, all the years I've
been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a
ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The Middle Eastern Muslim student replied with a nod and a grin, and
began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of
the room, the professor asks, "So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have
sex with a ghost?"
Ahmed replied, "Shit, from way back there I thought you said a Goat."

Mr.

Mr. White and his wife went for a gathering. At commencement of the program, the MC said the people were going to be grouped into two. He said "those whose wives' are the head of the family move to the left-hand side of the auditorium, while those whose husbands are the head of the family should move to the right". Mr. White asked his wife "Honey, which group should we move to?"

In the X Factor auditions they should really ask, Do you...

In the X Factor auditions they should really ask, "Do you think you have the X Factor?"

"Yes."

"Okay, Who do you want to be as shit as?"